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NYT: Embryo ‘Adoption’ Is Growing, but It’s Getting Tangled in the Abortion Debate
Posted On February 18th, 2019

The number of leftover frozen embryos remaining after IVF increases year after year. The creators of these embryos (which may contain genetic material of the parents, third-party donors or in combination), extended tremendous emotional and financial resources in order to obtain the embryos, but have extra that they may not ever need (IVF typically results in more than one viable embryo).

Some may choose destroy the embryos, some may donate them for medical research and some may keep them frozen in perpetuity. A small percentage are distributed to third parties. There are two prevailing attitudes about third-party embryo distribution (it is not legal to sell embryos).

“Embryo donation” is the term used by those who view these embryos as genetic material. “Embryo adoption” is the term used by fundamentalist Christian programs and they consider these embryos as people, or in effect, babies abandoned by their parents. Currently, the latter view dominates and the great majority of federal grants are provided to these Christian programs, with federal funding in large part denied to non-Christian oriented agencies.

By recognizing embryos as full persons, embryo adoption agencies politicize the process by underscoring the right-wing Republican assertion that life begins at conception. So far they have won favor through the current administration.

Let’s hope that as more non traditional families (single, same sex) are accepted and respected, the politics can be taken out embryo donation – a process which can help so many deserving prospective parents.

 

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A Very Long Pregnancy
Posted On November 1st, 2017

I always knew that pregnancies after infertility felt extra long. Over the years I have counseled countless people to be prepared for a very slow start to their pregnancies. I took to reminding them that the old dictim, “you can’t be a little bit pregnant” doesn’t really apply to ART pregnancies. You do feel “a little bit pregnant” when there is an embryo and a bit more when it is transferred and more still with a first pregnancy test…. “Be prepared, “ I said, “for the hours and days to crawl by at the start. It will feel like forever going from five and one-half weeks to six weeks.” Little did I know…

My daughter’s experience with surrogacy taught me just how long an ART pregnancy can be. What I hadn’t really taken into account before was what I have come to call the “pre-mesters.” Before your gestational carrier starts her first trimester, there has been so much lead time. You have waited to see how many follicles there are, how many eggs are retrieved, how many fertilize and how the embryos grow. You have waited to find your GC and for her to pass all her screening. Together you have slogged through lawyer’s meetings and psychologist appointments. All this before day one of the first trimester.

The good news is that time does not crawl by throughout the pregnancy. Round about Week 18 or 19 or 20 things begin to pick up—or at least that was our family’s experience.

 

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From Both Sides Now
Posted On August 22nd, 2017

Over the years I have had many opportunities to talk with people considering or going through surrogacy. I’ve long been fascinated by the ways that heretofore strangers come together, trust each other and creatively share a pregnancy, often long distance. As a family building counselor, I have readily dispensed advise to surrogacy participants, especially to the intended parents. I did so with keen awareness that I had never been in their shoes, that what I was telling them was based on observation of what had to be a uniquely challenging—and remarkably rewarding experience. Everything changed one year ago when we learned that my daughter needed a surrogate (gestational carrier). It is my pleasure to write a series of blogs, “From Both Sides Now”—what I have learned from first observing and now living surrogacy.

Worth The Wait

I remember telling people “You have to like your GC a lot. You have to feel certain that ‘she’s the one’ when you meet her. You will be entrusting your precious unborn child to her. You have to really really like her.”

This person—that you will like so much and trust without question—may not come along as soon as you would like. I’ve observed– and now I’ve learned first hand– that so much of this process is about waiting. You need to wait for a doctor’s appointment and later, to see how many follicles you have. Then you need to wait to see if the eggs fertilize and if they do,

 

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