The Northeast Assisted Fertility Group has twenty years of experience working with surrogates across the United States from all different backgrounds. We know that deciding to become a surrogate mother is an extraordinary act of generosity and compassion. We also know that support from those around you is an essential requirement. Explaining your surrogacy journey to others is one of your first steps.
Although we are not psychologists, social workers, or clinicians, we have a few tips based on our experience that could help make these conversations easier for you.
Your Spouse or Partner
Your spouse is your partner in your surrogacy journey: he or she participates in the meetings with your intended parents and in your medical screening appointments. There can be no hesitation or doubt on the spouse’s part. Typically, you do not simply inform your partner about your decision, but the issue develops organically over a series of conversations. In our experience, spouses know how compassionate and generous their wives are, and they are not surprised by their desires to be surrogates. They appreciate their willingness to help others while earning extra income for the family.
Your Children
As you begin to explain surrogacy to your child or children, keep it simple and honest: “Some families can’t have babies on their own, so Mommy is helping them. I’ll carry their baby in my tummy and after the baby is born, they get to go live with their own family.” You can also reassure your children that your love for them remains: “Aren’t you excited that we get to help another family have a baby of their own that they can love like Mommy loves you?”
There are many children’s books and free videos online that explain surrogacy to children in a way that’s easy for them to understand. Reading these books or watching videos together can help your child feel included in the process. Here are some books that can be found on Amazon:
The Kangaroo Pouch: A Story About Surrogacy for Young Children by Sarah A. Phillips
The Very Kind Koala: A Surrogacy Story for Children by Kimberly Kluger-Bell
My Mom is a Surrogate by Abigail Glass
It’s always great to involve your children in the surrogacy journey when you can. For example, you could let them help pick out a special gift for the baby or the intended parents. You could have your child create a scrapbook or craft item to give to the other family.
Adult Family Members and Friends
You can start the conversation with other family members and friends by explaining why your decision to become a surrogate is meaningful to YOU. This will look different for everyone and we invite you to express your feelings from the heart. You might say “I’ve made the decision to become a surrogate mother. I have a calling and genuine desire to help another family have a baby, something that I’m so grateful for. My children are everything to me and I can’t wait to help this family achieve the same thing.” Those who know and love you will be supportive and understanding.
Just remember that Northeast Assisted Fertility Group is here for you, and we will always remain a supportive ally in your journey as you navigate these conversations.
Northeast Assisted Fertility Group can also connect you with surrogacy support groups that offer connection and community. Just ask and we’d be happy to send you information.
Navigating the Surrogacy Journey with Northeast Assisted Fertility Group
At Northeast Assisted Fertility Group, a surrogacy agency based in Greenwich, CT and serving families across the United States, we are truly committed to providing exceptional care for our surrogates. We understand the unique challenges and rewards of this journey, and we are here to guide you through each stage with confidence. We believe that every surrogate deserves to have a positive and empowering experience, and our team works tirelessly to make that a reality.
Ready to Become a Surrogate?
If you’re considering becoming a surrogate or want to learn more about the surrogacy process, submit an application or contact us today. Our boutique surrogacy program is designed to provide you with the 1-on-1 guidance and support you won’t receive at large agencies. We’re also proud to offer one of the highest compensation packages in the area for surrogates. Your priceless gift will not go unnoticed here.